Kids First

co parent

Hello! Good morning and Happy Monday!

It’s been a little bit since I have written. I have been so busy, so believe it or not I haven’t had much time to think; Nor have I really done much that has inspired me to make something buzz in my head.

As we all know this past weekend was Father’s Day. I was amazed to see how every one had “THE BEST DAD EVER!” That is such a humbling sight to see… Good daddy’s really do make a world of difference in our lives. For those less fortunate, it sincerely saddens me. Whatever the situation is, if they can’t be here because God had a plan for them in Heaven, just remember they are still looking out for you. And if they aren’t around simply because they aren’t or weren’t ready to be a dad, that’s their loss not yours so don’t ever think there is something wrong with you.

I wanted to write about co-parenting today. As some of you may know, my ex husband and I split a little over 5 years ago. Our marriage was short lived, but out of it we created the most perfect little girl and for that I will forever be grateful. I will not lie, at first it wasn’t a walk in the park. We were young, naïve, foolish and stubborn (probably more so me than him), So naturally it took a little while for emotions to subside and things to become civil. For the last 5 years we have been juggling a joint custody schedule. I have been fortunate enough to have an amazing support system, and even more amazing (ex) in laws so our every other day routine has worked out a lot better than some might expect. Thankfully we started this at such a young age it has not effected Emery in any way. It is completely normal to her. Now I’m not saying her knowing she is with me on this night and her dad the other is what should be considered normal but sometimes that’s just the way it is. If you have the love and ability to make a relationship work, then by all means please give it your best shot and do so for the children.

What triggered me to want to discuss this topic was I was at Walmart over the weekend, and I over heard a mom tell her little boy “Your dad won’t meet me so you can’t go see him today.” Are you kidding me? On both ends… Dad, you’re that lazy you won’t go pick up your son and mom you’re so stubborn you won’t just take him the entire way?! Granted, this is complete and total assumption, and no I don’t know what the story is but my instincts are usually right. You are only hurting the child and eventually yourself in the future when that kid grows up and resents you for not letting them see their other parent. I hear so many stories about dead beat dad this, or dead beat mom this, and it’s coming from the mouths of the co-parent themselves. I literally do not even know what to say some times without sounding like a brat, because I honestly don’t understand and cannot relate. YES there are some P.O.S. parents out there but its their loss. I repeat, THEIR loss! This gives you the advantage to be the exceptionally awesome cool dependent parent. OWN IT! LOVE IT! ENJOY IT! Yay for the good parent!!!!! I am extremely fortunate my “baby daddy” and I have been raised to put others first, and have matured into civil adults that make every decision in the best interest for our child. I don’t know how we have remained such good friends honestly, and yes there are days we want to strangle each other, but it’s about a 2-6 hour mishap and then we are back to living our normal lives.  AND might I add, when these mishaps happen KEEP IT PRIVATE! Never bad mouth the other parent in front of little ears, and for the love, keep your dirty laundry off of social media. Do you not know how trashy it looks when Jackie is bashing Johnny for his new girlfriend, And how dare she make your child follow some rules, right?!!! Or how Karen is sleeping around with Ken, Kip and Kyle?!?! My point is, I don’t care if you have a death wish/voodoo doll against your ex, keep your drama private. Set a good example for kids and show respect despite how hard it may be. Children lead by example. They have ears and eyes too and pick up habits more than we think.

I saw a humorous yet semi inappropriate meme that said “These screaming toddlers make me happy to be a swallower.” Well hey, at least that person knew they were not mature enough to bring a child into this world and endure the hard times and responsibilities that come along with it. Separated parents: You two liked each other enough to bump uglies and create a beautiful blessing, so FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT if needed.

I want to take a moment now to express my appreciate and gratitude for my other family, and yes I can still call them that. I am forever thankful for the love and support you continue to give me like I am still one of your own. Someone once gave me the biggest compliment and said “I see how your families are with each other and heaven forbid I ever divorce, I hope to God we can be half as great as you all are together.” WOW! Something to really be proud of. So pat on the back Skaggs/Reis/Brandon clan. LOVE YOU ALL.

Children first. You second.

xo

sharayah

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